What a Waste

Monkeys on Treadmills

The federal government quite literally invested in “Monkey Business” last year. Apparently stu ying the stress of Marmoset monkeys was worth a $1 million investment in 2015. The methods of the study, conducted by the Southwest National Primate Research Center, were almost as questionable as the study itself. Monkeys were put in hamster exercise balls which were then placed on a treadmill that gradually increased in speed. Shockingly, this is not the first study of monkeys in hamster balls on treadmills, but the research center justified it by claiming Marmosets specifically had not been studied before. The Southwest National Primate Research Center has also been fined numerous times for animal rights abuses.

Solar Powered Beer

Who doesn’t love a cold beer on a hot summer’s day? The problem is that breweries are taking taxpayer money in order to maximize revenue… READ MORE

Piñata Appreciation Day

Following riots in Baltimore, the federal government decided it was worthwhile to award a $20,000 grant ““to support an apprenticeship program and a series of… READ MORE

Zombies in the White House

Sure there are zombies in our nation’s capital, but they are young interns and staffers who are trudging home after a long day’s work. Apparently… READ MORE


Humans have enough problems trying to interact with each other for us to be spending taxpayer money on the social interactions of guppies. A professor… READ MORE